this is mental illness. outside, a smile, only sometimes genuine. inside, indescribable pain that often has nowhere else to go but back onto oneself. mental illness, an injury that often remains invisible. the wounds don’t always show on the outside.

Popping in to say the following.

Don’t ever fall in love. Don’t ever fall in love with one of your best friends. Don’t ever tell your best friend that you’ve fallen in love with them. Don’t ever let your best friend convince you that you can still be friends after it’s made clear feelings are not mutual.

My heart is broken. And somehow I’m still expected to go on and live and work and breathe and smile that we’re still friends. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do that when everything inside me is screaming.

Don’t ever fall in love. But if you must fall in love, keep your mouth shut about it.

You see, he was her beginning, and she was his end. And it continued on and on. After all, she promised him forever.

I don’t understand how millions of people with truly abominable hygiene and horrid personalities have boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives and I, I who always smell nice and am not that terrible and sometimes make a funny joke or two and brush my teeth and wear clean clothes, I HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A GODDAMN DATE.

But I’m an asexual, so being alone shouldn’t matter to me, right? I wish. Too bad I’m an asexual who also happens to have feelings and wants to know what it’s like to be really important to someone who loves me.

(okay emo nonsense over, sorry)


Its like looking in the mirror

You know you’re getting old when an alarmingly large portion of your life consists of falling asleep watching TV reading texting halfway through a sandwich mid-sentence by accident.



from madlori

And now suddenly I need to watch all of the Star Trek again.




Recent podcast with Jack Kenny where lots of random things are made kinda canon - like Mrs F being a child of slavery? And that the w13 pitch started w Brent D Mote > Ron Moore > Rockne O Bannon > Jane Espenson > Someone Else piloted > Jack Kenny.

Edit: Jack Kenny: “I always knew what the ending of the series would be. But the finale was for the fans. It’s a love letter to them.”

Edit #2 - for those of you who think Pyka came from the network or studio? It didn’t. Listen to this gem of a quote from the podcast: “There is a faction of fans who want HG and Myka to get together - and that was never the plan. We played with that dynamic but that wasn’t the plan, because honestly you’d feel terrible for Pete in that scenario.” What????

I’m not big on listening to podcasts so I’m not going to listen to this one but I had to laugh at the last bit that we’d feel terrible for Pete in that scenario… Uh no. Not really. Myka has always made it very clear she wasn’t interested him in sexually and saw him like an annoying yet lovable brother. So why would I feel bad for him if Myka ended up with HG? He would be happy Myka finally found someone who made her happy. He might hurt, as we all do when someone we love ends up with someone else but he’d learn to be ok with it because he’s a decent person who understands you can’t help who you love.
Ugh. Just.. I already hate that the show is over. I hate how it ended. It had some cute moments but I do hate it. And while I never expected Bering and Wells to be end game, that is a horrible excuse as to why it would never be endgame. That’s just nonsense.
“Oh no! The lead male doesn’t get the lead female for his lover? THE HORROR!!!!”
Ugh. Fuck off. (not you, OP… just that stupid notion that a woman is there to be the love interest for the male and if she isn’t we have to feel bad for him.)

Jack Kenny: I got on [Wikipedia] at 1:30 in the morning. I started researching empires and I built this whole mythology [behind the Warehouses] kinda for fun and I sent it over to Syfy and said, “hey, what do you think of this? This seems like it would be cool.” This like five page document. And like literally the next day it was on the website. And I said, “Uhh, you know I didn’t proof that. You know I want to fact check a couple of things.” 

“…because honestly you’d feel terrible for Pete in that scenario.”

It’s as though the man never even watched his own show. Pete spent 4 seasons being just fine without Myka as a romantic partner or even a potential romantic partner. So, being a fan of the show and seeing that Pete is happy to be friends and family with Myka and nothing else, why would I suddenly feel terrible for him if that were to continue through the end of the show? Oh. Wait, I know. Because HG is a woman, and it would make a certain show runner feel squirmy. Gotcha. Makes perfect sense now.

You guys, I’m on my break playing Candy Crush, and I randomly just flashed back to that scene with “Wells and Bering, solving puzzles, saving the day.” “Bering and Wells.” and now I legitimately feel like I need to go cry in the ladies room a little. It’s not fair when these things strike so suddenly and without warning.

Minor spoilers for the Agents Of SHIELD season finale.

That scene with Fitz and Simmons broke me a little bit. Fitz is so adorable, and I love him dearly. And Simmons can’t cry like that, it hurts my heart! One thing though. My feeling about that scene is that Simmons doesn’t reciprocate Fitz’s romantic feelings even though she obviously loves him to pieces. They seemed to make a point of Sinmons kissing Fitz everywhere on his face except his lips. I’m pretty sure that if she felt the same way in such a life or death situation, she would have kissed him on the lips. So yeah. I don’t think that’s happening any time soon, if ever.

Overall, LOVED the finale. LOVED. So excited for next season.

*whispers before scurrying away* also skimmons huggggggggg eeeeeeeeee